Disappoint: To fail to fulfill the expectations or wishes of; to defeat the fulfillment of hopes or plans; to frustrate; thwart.
One of the greatest joys in this life is the privilege we have to minister to others in their time of need. I find that ministry to be most effective when I am able to comfort others with the same comfort with which I have been comforted: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Cor 1:3-5)
I was recently having lunch with a dear sister, and was endeavoring to comfort her, as she and her husband have an adult child who has come home to be rescued. It is, more often than not, those closest to us who have the greatest power to disappoint us, if we allow them.
I want to examine that disappointment just a bit.
What we don’t often realize is that our implicit or actual disappointment does far more damage to those we love than it does to us. Disappointment, as spoken of here, is not to be confused with grief or pain suffered as a result of the breach of trust that results from the moral failure of others.
I have seen in my own life, and in the lives of many believers, that disappointment is one of the greatest and most frequent sources of sorrow. As Proverbs 13:12 states, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick”. Beloved, so many in the Body of Christ are needlessly heartsick.
The Lord showed me three years ago that disappointment was simply unrealized expectation, and that I could only be disappointed when I put my expectation in anyone or anything other than Him. What freedom it brought to me when I realized that it was actually possible to live a life free from disappointment – and, more importantly, what freedom it brought to those I love, especially my children, when they learned that they could neither disappoint me, nor God.
This truth was revealed to me when the Lord gave me a rather lengthy and vivid vision relating to His unconditional love. The revelation came to me as I meditated on Ephesians 1:3-5 and Revelation 13:8 which made clear to me, once again, that the Cross was always Plan A, not Plan B. That is, the cross was not a rescue operation – it was always the only plan.
Please allow me a little poetic license, and imagine, if you can, the following scenario:
The Father, Son, and Spirit are together, in counsel, before the foundation of the world. The Father sees that it is not good that the Son should be alone, and wants a Bride for Him. The Father also desires “many sons”, as we are told in Hebrews 2:10 – “For it was fitting (becoming, comely, right) for Him, for Whom are all things, and by Whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to make the Captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings.”
And so, the Father, looking through time and space, sees you and me, and chooses us, despite knowing every evil, rotten thing we would ever think, do, or say. As it is stated in Ephesians 1:3-5 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will.”
An all-knowing, all-seeing, sovereign God could not have had, nor will ever have, any unrealistic expectations concerning any of us. Therefore, He could not possibly ever be disappointed in us. However, He was obviously very aware before the foundation of the world that in order for Him to have us, someone would have to pay the price for our sins. In my vision, I saw the Father, turn to the Son, and ask, “Will You get them for Me?” The Son willingly said, “Yes”. And so, the Son of God, the spotless Lamb, was slain, in the Father’s heart, right then and there for you and for me. Revelation 13:8 tells us that Jesus is “….the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.” Amazing love – unsearchable love – that the Spirit of God would be willing to live within the hearts of men so as to empower them to live lives far beyond their own capability … lives worthy of their calling. And He did so knowing that He would be continually grieved by their thoughts, words and deeds – though never surprised by them.
If I am to live a life free of disappointment, then I must put all of my hope and expectation in God, and God alone, for hope in Him will not disappoint! “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. and not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” Rom 5:1-5
If we place all of our hope in God, and if that hope does not disappoint, then no human being or circumstance will have the power to disappoint us. This truth is not only incredibly liberating for us, but is powerfully liberating for everyone we love. This is especially important for our loved ones to understand when they face times of moral failure – they cannot disappoint us (… because our expectations are not in them). This knowledge will aid in bringing freedom and healing not only to them, but to us as well.
Be free, dear Children of God, from feelings that you are disappointing God. And, free others from any sense that they are disappointing you. Put your hope and expectations in God and God alone … this hope will never disappoint you.
“Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the LORD.”Ps 31:24
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